Zorro: Cleanest Thing on the Property

My one-star accommodation has fallen to negative-star on the CAA rating system. The amenity crisis looks like this... Laundry guy is MIA. The plumber came yesterday, almost 2 weeks late. There was no water for 4 days. Then the big ground-floor tank was filled, but the pump broke. The plumber’s visit was useless because there is no power to diagnose the pump problem. No pump means no water for our tank (located on the roof) Thus diagnosing the multitude of plumbing problems in the bathroom was impossible. Follow?

It took me a few weeks to understand that a) our landlord is in Germany, b) our water pump is housed in the downstairs tenant’s yard, c) the pump switch is located at our neigbour’s house, d) the main water tank on the ground floor is filled randomly (haven’t figure out who does this), and e) our pump is powered by our neighbour’s generator, which is only on when he chooses/ is home. I’m guessing the architect for this set-up is an idiot savant, or British.

The leak we had in the bathroom two weeks ago (the original problem) pails in comparison to the fact that our water system is in shambles right now. We currently employ the bucket system. I am declaring a state of emergency. All my clothes, dirty. Me, dirty. Dishes, dirty. Zorro the dog is the cleanest thing on the property.

I probably wouldn’t be too bothered with having to fetch water for bucket showers, but somehow I managed to contract some sort of rash, which just ads to the annoyance. First diagnosed by everyone as heat rash (on my wrist. settle down.) It started on the weekend. It’s itchy. It spread after a few days to reveal itself as POISON IVY. I’m still not sure what it is, but my skin is reacting like it’s poison ivy. I tell everyone it’s malaria. It’s now in defeat stage, but still itchy.
(Photo Right: My stylist, Mariama; Photo Left: Zorro)